- Behavioral Health, PediatricsGeneral Page Tier 3BlogThe term “helicopter parent” may have been recently coined, but it’s certainly not a new phenomenon. The term is applied to parents who “hover over” their children, like a helicopter, paying extremely close attention to their experiences and problems, both in everyday life and academic settings. Parents may feel as if they’re looking out for their children’s welfare and helping their children excel, but there’s a downside to being overly involved and concerned. Studies are finding significantly higher levels of anxiety and depression in college students and young adults with helicopter parents. Ask questions, find resources and learn more at askAAMC.org/HealthyMinds. Why might that be? For one, helicopter parents may not allow their children to experience adversity and establish a sense of their own competence at managing things in the world around them. They can also convey a sense that perfection is what is required and demanded. “Hovering parents can lead to anxious kids because it doesn’t allow children to learn resilience. Parents need to give kids the opportunity to fail a bit, to learn from their mistakes and to grow from them. This helps build resiliency and the ability to deal with things in a healthy way,” says Ruth Milsten, MSW, LCSW-C, a mental health clinician and licensed social worker with AAMG Mental Health Specialists. Studies on the mental health of our youth confirm the harm done by expecting little when it comes to independence, yet much when it comes to achievements in school, sports or other extracurricular activities. Kids who are used to having their parents make every decision for them may face quite a shock when they enter a stage of life where more independence is expected, such as college or work. Inevitable small setbacks can feel like big failures, and a lack of feelings of self-sufficiency can lead to anxiety and depression. READ MORE: How to help your child cope with school safety anxiety One of the primary developmental tasks of adolescence is to create a growing sense of autonomy. Healthy functioning depends on learning to navigate between demands that are too extreme—creating too much anxiety—and a realistic sense of what is actually required in the world for success. Part of normal development has to involve processes of trial and error. What can parents do to help? Get comfortable with failure. The feeling of disappointment can be actually beneficial and children need to know you accept them as imperfect. Talk openly about dealing with setbacks or failures to help your child develop coping skills and emotional resilience. Be mindful of praise. We all know lack of approval can be devastating to children. At the same time, confidence grows from overcoming challenges, not being told how great you are all the time. Strike a balance, and keep in mind that sometimes “good” truly ought to be good enough. Remember, you’re the role model. It’s important to handle your own disappointments with grace—your kids are watching you. Help them see that adults make mistakes and experience setbacks. Own your decisions, and let them take ownership of theirs. It can be difficult for parents to experience the world as complicated and demanding and not be highly anxious about their children going out into it. Parents should support their children when they fail, but they shouldn’t prevent their child from ever experiencing failure. It’s the ability to go out into the world, experience some degree of failure, and pick oneself up to try again that gives an individual a healthy sense of the resources they have inside themselves to successfully navigate a path through life—a path that is truly theirs, not someone else’s. AAMG Mental Health Specialists offer care for diverse mental health needs. To schedule an appointment call 410-573-9000. Author Ruth Milsten, MSW, LCSW-C is a mental health clinician and licensed social worker with AAMG Mental Health Specialists. Originally published Aug. 25, 2015. Last updated May 7, 2018.
- Behavioral Health, PediatricsGeneral Page Tier 3BlogIn the wake of tragic events involving school shootings in our country, school safety has become a top concern for parents, children and school officials. The conversation around school safety has become an important topic that can at times seem scary, yet necessary to have. The sense of fear and worry about being safe at school is real —children want to feel safe at school. However, what happens when your child expresses daily worry and fear about going to school? What do you tell your child to give them a sense of comfort and security to help him or her have a normal school day? When children hear about events involving a school shooting on the news or on social media, each child will react differently. Some children will not show concern or fear and will continue with normal daily activities. Some children may develop a sense of anxiety about going back to school. An anxious child may start to wonder, “Will this happen at my school?” or, “If there is a school shooting, what will happen to me?” Children may show their anxiety in a variety of ways such as refusing to go to school; complaining of stomachaches or headaches so they can stay home; frequently visiting the school nurse; and being less focused in class because they are watchful of the door, window, or a particular student in the classroom. If you notice that your child is expressing this type of anxiety, here are some ways to ease his or her fears and help your child feel safe again. Listen to your child It is important to listen to your child if he or she is worried about going to school. Ask your child about school, including their daily routine, classes, and other students or teachers that make him or her anxious. Younger children like to use drawings or paintings to express their feelings. Sit down and have art time with them to help them communicate what they are feeling. Acknowledge that the anxiety exists and feel free to ask questions about what you can do to help. This can include talking to teachers, counselors and administrators so both you and your child are aware of safety procedures at school. Have open and honest conversations When children hear about school shootings or threats of a shooting, they will have questions. If children come to you with questions about school safety, have an age appropriate conversation with them about their feelings. Younger children may express more worry about themselves and will have broader questions due to lack of full understanding. With younger elementary school children, you should leave out details but answer any questions they may have. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), psychologists who work in the area of trauma and recovery suggest to be honest and let children know that bad things do happen. But even though you cannot always stop bad things from happening, children should know that school is still safe. Older children may have more specific questions and worry about the possibility of an active shooter at school. Even if the conversation makes you nervous, talk to your child about a safety plan. This plan should include how you will communicate with each other if an active shooter event occurs. Even though the risk may be low, having a safety plan in place increases a sense of safety. Let children know that administrators, teachers, counselors, and school resource officers work hard each day to make sure that school is a safe place and the risk of harm to students is low. READ MORE: Safeguard your child against cyberbullying Cut down on news and social media Always hearing about or seeing negative events increases anxiety for both children and adults. Research shows that some younger children believe the events are happening again each time they see a replay of the news footage. Children who frequently hear about negative events can experience more anxiety that leads to a snowball effect of worries. If possible, limit the amount of news and social media your child accesses. Sit down as a family and talk to your child about his or her day and things that happened during the day. Have family time away from the television and internet so children can come to you as a source of information instead of relying on coverage from the media. Support the desire for change For middle school and high school students, the sense of anxiety may leave them feeling helpless. They may even feel a sense of anger because they think the school administration is not doing enough to keep them safe. Encourage your child to write letters to the school principal or state government officials to express his or her concerns about school safety. Support your child with joining student government organizations so he or she can be a voice for change. When children are able to take a proactive stance on change, they will feel they have a voice that needs to be heard and are more likely to attend school daily to express their point of view. For more information, visit the American Psychological Association’s website. Author Jennifer Williams (Walton), MA, LPC, LCPC, is a mental health professional at Anne Arundel Medical Group (AAMG) Mental Health Specialists, located in Annapolis. To reach her, call 410-573-9000. Ask questions, find resources and learn more at askAAMC.org/HealthyMinds.
- Behavioral Health, Patient StoriesGeneral Page Tier 3BlogIt all started with a phone call. Lisa Hillman got the call from a beloved teacher, warning her that her teenage son, Jacob, may be dabbling in drugs. “I will always remember that phone call,” says Lisa, the former longtime president of the AAMC Foundation. “I thought, he’s got to be wrong.” But he wasn’t wrong. That call would signal the start of a years-long battle with addiction for Jacob. “In addiction, the phone can be a nightmare,” Lisa says. With the help of therapists at AAMC’s Pathways, and later drug rehabilitation in Florida, the nightmare is over today. Now 28, Jacob is more than five years clean. “But who’s counting, right?” Lisa says. She’s written a book, Secret No More, which chronicles her son’s struggle with drug addiction and her family’s efforts to help him – and ultimately, themselves. “I wanted to write a story of hope,” she says. The secrecy of addiction Before addiction touched her family, Lisa, as a well-known hospital executive, lived an idyllic life. Her husband, Richard, is a former Annapolis mayor. They raised their daughter, Heidi, and Jacob in historic downtown Annapolis. But things changed during Jacob’s junior year of high school. First Lisa caught her son openly drinking in front of her. Then she got that phone call. Jacob graduated from high school and was accepted to the University of Maryland with honors, but his life took a sharp turn during a senior week trip to North Carolina. There, he was arrested for marijuana. A year later, he failed out of college due to his drug use, and returned home to work and attend Anne Arundel Community College. “He still didn’t seem right,” Lisa recalls. She soon learned he was continuing to use. Desperate to fix his problem, Lisa called a colleague at Pathways, AAMC’s addiction treatment center. She knew she would keep her call confidential. The Hillmans lived a public life in many ways, Lisa says, but they also valued their privacy. Lisa found herself balancing the demands of overseeing a multi-million dollar capital campaign at AAMC with discreetly trying to get her son the help he needed. “I think it’s a skill you learn,” she says. Pathways eventually sent Jacob to rehab in Florida, and that’s when Lisa learned something else. “I didn’t realize I was sick,” she says. Healing herself Through the help of a support group, Lisa learned the phrase that would become her mantra. “I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it,” she says. With Jacob in Florida, Lisa focused on healing herself and letting her son go – detaching with love, she says. Back home in Annapolis, she took a call one night from her son, who confessed he’d had a minor relapse. She told him to take care of himself. “I was able to say that to Jacob because of the support group and learning to put the focus on him,” she says. It was a lesson she had to remember on New Year’s Eve in 2011, when she got a call from Jacob’s counselor in Florida. He told her Jacob needed detox immediately. The Hillmans agreed to pay for his treatment, but decided it would be the last time. And fortunately, something clicked within Jacob. “He wanted to be clean,” Lisa says. One day at a time Today, Jacob lives in Florida and works in recovery, managing a group of homes for recovering addicts. “For him, it’s almost a calling,” Lisa says. Writing her book, too, was a calling. She wants other families who are dealing with addiction to know that it’s OK to talk about it. Years later, Lisa reflects on the strangeness of trying to keep Jacob’s addiction a secret, even as she sat on the board of Pathways. Once she opened up to her bosses about her secret, they were supportive, a nod to the therapeutic environment in which she worked. She urges other parents dealing with an addicted child to find someone in whom they can confide. “It is a family problem,” Lisa says. “If the addict is to get better, it helps if the family gets better.” And you may not be able to fix the addict, but you can fix yourself. “One thing that addiction teaches you is to live life one day at a time,” she says. “Sometimes, it’s one hour at a time. Sometimes, it’s one minute at a time.” Pathways hosts Family Wellness Workshops for family members of adults and teens struggling with addiction, as well as those dealing with a combination of substance abuse and mental health problems. Call 410-573-5449 for upcoming dates, and register for a Family Wellness Workshop today. Originally published May 30, 2017. Last updated May 4, 2018.
- Behavioral Health, Senior CareGeneral Page Tier 3BlogStudies show four out of five adults take over-the-counter (OTC) medications to treat pain, fever, allergies, heartburn and other problems. Most of the thousands of OTC medications on the market are safe when taken as directed, as long as they do not interfere with other medications or health conditions. Many people who take OTC supplements may not realize the Food and Drug Administration does not directly monitor or approve these non-prescription drugs. It is important to do your own research to know what you are taking and why. Taking more than the recommended dose of an OTC medication can be dangerous. For example, taking too much acetaminophen, which can be found in pain relievers, can cause severe liver damage or acute liver failure. Read the labels on your OTC medications carefully to prevent accidental overdose. This is especially important if you take more than one medication at a time to relieve multiple symptoms. Know the ingredients, dosages, timing and other instructions. Along with carefully reading labels, you may want to consult with your doctor or pharmacist before starting a new OTC medication. Sometimes OTC drugs interact with medications you’ve been prescribed. Those with chronic health conditions are at greater risk of serious adverse reactions while taking OTC medications. Adults age 65 and older are likely to have additional health issues, and take roughly 40 percent of OTC medications consumed. Because of this, seniors should take extra precaution. In general, do not take OTC medications longer than 10 days for pain or longer than three days for fever without consulting your physician. If you have concerns about medications, it’s important to talk to your doctor. To find a primary care doctor near you, visit findadoc.aahs.org or call 443-481-5555. Originally published Jan. 28, 2016. Last updated April 25, 2018.
- Behavioral Health, News & Press ReleasesGeneral Page Tier 3BlogAAMC President and CEO Victoria W. Bayless Today, the Maryland Health Care Commission voted to approve Anne Arundel Medical Center’s Certificate of Need (CON) application for a 16-bed, freestanding mental health hospital on our Riva Road campus. This is an incredible step forward for expanding access to critically needed mental health care in our community. Building on the legacy of care we have established with our Pathways treatment center, a mental health hospital on this campus will allow AAMC to provide comprehensive and integrated mental health care at a single location. The mental health hospital will include inpatient psychiatric care for adults, partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient programs, family support services, prevention programs, and care coordination with community-based support services. Today’s positive vote means we can move forward with our plans. At this time, we anticipate construction could begin this fall and doors opening to our community in the summer of 2020. I am incredibly thankful for the community support this project has received. Many of you have been with us from the beginning, and provided impactful letters of support as part of our application. On behalf of AAMC, we are grateful. I look forward to keeping you updated on our progress. Thank you, Victoria W. Bayless President, CEO, Anne Arundel Medical Center
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